My book is off to the editor. Something I thought would never happen. Not because the book has issues but rather I have been working on this book for almost twenty years. The idea came when my seventeen year old girlfriend died from a brain tumor traced with agent orange. (that’s where the similarity between my main character and my friend begins and ends). Then it was twenty years of ‘what if’s’ and ‘that would only work if’… It didn't take me this long because the story has issues but I am a normal person. In high school I dabbled in a notebook and wrote a few short stories. Then, I thought I was great and teachers thought I had potential, my Mother thought I was phenomenal. The drive, however, to be a published author was not there. Those short stories have disappeared due to time and disorganization. I did find one story that was typed out for my Mom. She cries every time she reads it. I remember in high school thinking it was a cool story but when I found it years later and read it to my kid as a bedtime story, I decided it was the stupidest story ever and put it away to never be read again.
As most normal people that dabble in something as a child, life happens. Life is very distracting. Life puts dreams on the back burner if you don’t fight for them. So this story sat on the back burner as I got married, had children, got divorced, bought houses, remodel houses, find employment, lose employment and find it again, go to school conferences and concerts, hang with family and friends, cry, laugh, worry, be content, then do it all over again. As most normal do, I sit from time to time and re-evaluate my life and priorities. This can often be a disappointing task for me as my life did not turn out as planned. Not that it is a bad life but still I evaluate. I look at my pathetic job. I look at my finances, I look at my kids that I would like to be a better mom to, I see my Mother who will need my help with my disabled step-father. I see where I would like to volunteer more to my community. How do I achieve all this? How can I do it while my boys are still at home? This nagging little thought came into play. This book. It sits in my brain. It’s a gamble with little risk. After all what does it take to write a book? A laptop or paper and time and a story? I have all those. I have time after work and days off. I have a laptop and a story that’s been developing and stewing for a long time. So I wrote. I finished. I sent to an editor and started on the business side of being an author.
Now that I am done with the writing, I have both dreams and nightmares of where this book could or will go. As much as I would love for it to be my lottery ticket to independent wealth, I dream more reasonably that it will allow me to quit my day job and work from home as a bonefied author. I also have fears that it will completely fail and I will forever be stuck in my day job. Then again, another fear, if I’m successful, can I think of another story equally as good or better? Have I thought about this story so long I can’t conjure up another? That was a fear until yesterday and I thought of another? Yea!! I may have a desirable career yet! I just can’t keep my fear or life from stunting this career any longer.